Am I cursed to a life of dad shoes?

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Velldog 6 days, 14 hours ago.

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    So im 5’9.5″, 275lbs and have been a “tshirt and jeans/shorts” person my entire life. I’m working on the 275lbs part and have been telling myself over the year that “I’ll learn to dress nicer when I can actually where nicer clothes”. But more and more people have been telling me to start now, and just adapt when I lose weight.

    So I’ve been looking through the sidebar articles and other than thinking “None of this would look good on me even if I tried”, something that stood out even moreso were boots/shoes. I have CRAZY flat feet and so I’ve always just gone to whatever sporting good’s store there was around me, purchased a pair of New Balance or Saucony running shoes, that felt good on my feet, and could also fit my orthotics. Even when I wouldn’t wear my orthotics, hoping I could wear a “cooler” pair of shoes, they wouldn’t fit, or if they did fit, they’d be massively uncomfortable to the point where I couldn’t walk in them after a few days.

    As I write this I’m not even really sure as to what advice I’m looking for. All I know is that ever since I started looking at outfit guides, even if I thought I could pull off any of these looks being the weight I am, I’d still be there wearing my off-white running shoes.




    Dad shoes are in mate.






    Here’s a few good subs for you man. Lots of different methods out there. Just find one that works for you and ignore the haters.

    You can do it bro. I did it recently (205SW->175CW->155GW)). It’s just focus and willpower. I stopped giving myself excuses.

    Edit: on an MFA note I went from 38 waist pants down past 34. And dropped from 16.5/42 in shirts to 16/41 and really close to 15.75/40. Feels good man. Everyone mentioning how good I look and my clothes look great on me. Just do it.



    I wouldn’t listen to other people — you’re 100% correct on the weight thing. Maybe once you get down to 220ish you can start buying nicer stuff, but you’re right that clothes generally won’t look great on you at 275 because your body is just not aesthetically proportionate. If you plan on losing weight, it doesn’t even make sense to buy a bunch of 2XL shirts or pants now because they won’t fit you when you lose weight (u’ll do it, u got this). For right now I would just really focus on losing weight.



    You can definitely find dress shoes that will fit you if that’s what you’re looking for.

    Many dress shoe makers have models designed to accommodate orthotic inserts.

    There’s not reason to put off dressing the way you want now, even if you’re not happy with your weight. (Many many many people are not happy with their weight, myself included.)

    If you’re planning to lose weight, don’t go crazy, but buy a few outfits and shoes that work best with the body that you have.

    If you lose enough weight later on so that they don’t fit, you’ll be happy enough to treat yourself to more clothes. It’ll be a good way to celebrate the milestone.



    Honestly your feet may change a bit losing 50-100lbs. I’d focus on tha first while you learn more about fashion in the mean time. Figure out and really nail down your style while you’re losing the weight.



    It seems like it would be really expensive to buy a bunch of new, nice clothes now, and then lose a lot of weight only to then require clothes in a new size.



    Dressing better is a process itself, including some trial, error, and gradual improvements. So the sooner you start trying, the better. Obviously dont spent too much if you’re about to drop sizes.

    If you are used to new balance with an inch of rubber as your daily treads, then yea, that particular comfort zone is going to be a tough one to crack.

    As one small step forward from chunky/dad sneaker, before plunging into the world of good leather boots/chukkas — have you tried something from the clean white sneaker trend? Like pure white Adidas Stan Smiths?



    I lost nearly a full size in my shoes after losing 65 lbs. I have to wear a spacer on my wedding ring because I lost so much fat in my fingers that my ring kept falling off. When you lose a significant amount of weight, you lose it everywhere and nothing fits afterwards.

    Buy a pair of nice shoes if you want (and feel free to buy a few basic items in your current size), but if you start going nuts before your weight is stable you’re just going to be wasting money.



    What size are you?



    Don’t spend all your money on clothes just yet. Thrifting could be a good option for someone in your situation. That’s what I did while losing weight, though I was in NYC where thrift stores had some pretty nice stuff.

    I’d also point out that your feet could change a bit with weight loss. People losing a ton of weight can lose a size. Your feet will most likely become more narrow.



    I have shitty feet as well, I was given a pair of basic brown leather Dr. Marten boots as a gift and they both look nice and do my feet pretty well. They’re rather wide and forgiving even in a standard size/width.



    Businessmen, lawyers, etc. who wear suits everyday sometimes have flat feet too, so there have got to be companies that cater to them. I don’t know what they are, but I’m sure you can find formal and semi-formal shoes that work.

    I’ve had good luck with Clark’s shoes being comfortable. I’m not sure if they make wide sizes, but if they do, that’s one place to start.

    Well fitted clothing will be helpful at any size – it’s just harder to find if your size and shape are less common. Having a tailor take your measurements could make it easier to find your size in nicer shirts and pants. (If you don’t buy anything, offer to pay something for his time.)



    For boots, I recommend Chippewa. They’re generously sized with wider fittings available, and come with removable gel insoles that you can keep or switch out for your orthotics. If you want comfort right out of the box, you can go for [one]( [of]( their lace-to-toe styles, which have a short-to-nonexistent break in period because you can control the tightness along the entire length of the boot. If you’re in the states you can usually find them on ebay for cheap, too.

    For dress shoes, Clarks’ are cheap and comfortable. They’re pretty padded to compensate for the thin leather (which is actually good for you), and while they aren’t ridiculously durable they will last a while in a decent shoe rotation.

    In general, you’re going to experience *some* pain when you first get leather shoes; a major advantage of sneakers (and suede!) is that they don’t need to be broken in. My rule of thumb is to make sure the pain is only skin deep; rubbing on the heels, arch, and the base of the big toe are normal, so don’t take a full day out in new shoes straight out of the box. On the other hand, make sure your feet don’t feel hot or cold (like they feel just before you get pins and needles) – that’s a sign your shoes are cutting off blood to your feet. If you feel shooting pains at pressure points in your feet, that’s another sign they’re too small. For too big shoes, watch out for excess pressure on the toes (a sign that your shoes aren’t flexing at the same point as your foot), and your foot sliding back and forth in the shoe (self explanatory). It’s possible for shoes to be both too big and too small – too long and too narrow, for instance.

    If you buy new leather shoes or boots, build up a break-in routine. Spend the first couple of weeks wearing them around the house after work, doing light chores; don’t take them outside before you’re sure that they fit, unless you want to face the terrible wrath of the returns team.



    Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

    First off, a fat person wears pants and a shirt with just as much grace and elegance as anyone else. Get out of your mind that clothes won’t look good on you because you’re big. That’s a fallacy on quite a few accounts.

    Second, dad shoes are in. You are in luck. At some point, if you stick around here, you will et a better knowledge of what works for your feet and which you like the look of.

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