Buyer’s remorse – or how to trust your instincts

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  IntelligentAmoeba 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
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  • #7949

    Rob
    Keymaster

    I’ve been on and off of this sub for about 2 years now, and have been exposed to tons of different brands and items. When I first got into MFA, I spent way too much money on things that everyone here ‘circle-jerked’ over. Common Projects and GATs for shoes, some Acne Ace black jeans, high quality Norse Projects tees to name some of the worst offenders. This isn’t even counting all the fast fashion items and used stuff I’d spent hours a day browsing for. I would say I entered a spendaholic phase, and my wallet and happiness suffered. 2 years down the road, I’ve sold or donated almost everything I got in that timeframe, and have found myself in essentially back in the same place, just colours and fit being much more co-ordinated than before.

    One thing I noticed when I was trying all these countless items on, is that for the most part, I could tell when something was “off”. It was just a feeling I got. It could have been a minute difference in fit, it could have been a bit of scratchiness in a shirt or it could have been a slightly different colour or texture than I expected. Yet more often than not, I would make excuses as to why I should still keep the item, and not try to sell or return it. You might say:

    “I spent a good amount of money for it, I might as well keep it at this point”

    “It wasn’t that expensive, I’m sure if I wear it a few times it’ll grow on me”

    “I don’t quite like the colour, but everyone online seems to love it, so I must be wrong here”

    “I’m sure I can look past how uncomfortable it is, it looks so nice!”.

    If you find yourself making these kind of excuses, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and really consider wherever you want this item. I guarantee 9 times out of 10 you’ll have gotten rid of it within the year if you’re making these kind of bargains. That item will sit in your closet, unworn, because you just don’t feel right wearing it. You shouldn’t have to FORCE yourself to wear an item because other people said it’s good, or you’re trying to fit a certain vibe. I strongly believe your clothes should be an extension of your personality, and if you don’t feel comfortable in what you wear, it’ll bleed through into daily life, bringing unhappiness along with it.

    **Listen to what your first, gut reaction to an item is, it’s probably right**. It might take longer to build your wardrobe as you look for items you *really* love, but you’ll feel so much happier when you finally get there.

    P.S. This doesnt count so much for stuff like boots, that will be uncomfortable to start with and slowly break in. Just make sure you actually like the style and can see yourself wearing it in the future.

    #7950

    IntelligentAmoeba

    Yeah I can attest it kinda works this way for me too. If I don’t feel it and like wearing the item, I’ll end up not wearing it. Huge waste!

    #7951

    leftybanks

    I agree with much of this but I also think it’s worth giving oneself some time to really try something and ease into it, both literally and figuratively.

    Obviously, I don’t mean clothing that feels deeply uncomfortable but if something fits *differently* than you’re used to or looks outside of your normal comfort zone, it can worth giving it a few tries.

    A lot of my favorite clothes now are things I was a little iffy on when I first got them and it’s precisely because they were a new style and I needed time to adjust.

    Again, if your gut is screaming “bad idea” then sure, listen to the gut. But sometimes, we need to push ourselves out of comfort zones to be able to embrace the new.

    #7952

    grau86

    I’ve made mistakes with uncomfortable boots/leather shoes.
    I eventually learned that i seem to have wide feet behind my toes.
    So last year I bought some boots, and in april some suede derbies they where maybe a fair bit to thight. I thought no problem they will stretch out just need some time to wear in. The Boots are wearable but still a bit to thight. The suede derbies are basically unwearable for me and hurt my feet really bad after 15 to 20 minutes.

    #7953

    fikis

    There is a lurking danger to all of these specialized subs (other ones that I frequent include onebag and ultralight, bifl, and ironically, minimalism)…

    We get so caught up in the details and neatness and variety of stuff/things that we internalize the notion that buying/acquiring is itself intrinsically worthwhile.

    The craziest thing is to see ostensibly “minimalist-oriented” subs get sucked into the mindframe.

    It happens to me, and then I have to try to pull back and realize that all of this shit has to serve a useful and compelling function or I am wasting my time, energy and resources.

    It’s important for me to remember that stuff is not achievement, and that my clothes and other gear are not adequate stand-ins for confidence, capability or identity.

    #7954

    tectonic9

    Great stuff to discuss. Almost every time I’ve bought something because I think the *idea* of it is somehow cool, I’ve regretted it.

    The items I don’t regret are the ones I try on and see that they look cool *on me specifically.* Meaning, they fit really well and are flattering to my proportions and complexion. I try to remind myself not to buy unless A ) the item fills an actual, practical, non-redundant need in my wardrobe, or B ) I’m pretty certain it’s gonna be one of my new favorite items.

    Some people have rightly mentioned the value in pushing your comfort zone sometimes, but it’s a problem if you acquire something that’s well outside the range of the rest of your wardrobe, or doesn’t fit well within your life circumstances. It may sit unworn in your closet, or you may feel compelled to make a lot more purchases to pair with it.

    #7955

    thresholden

    Entirely agree, this is why I only buy from stores that offer free returns or have stores within driving distance to return. Only owning clothes you know you’ll wear for a long time is good for your peace of mind, your wallet, and the environment.

    #7956

    danhakimi

    I once asked here about the items that people regretted not purchasing. Most of the responses were “eh, nothing, really.” I have some *sortas* on my list, but… Generally, being careful and conservative with our purchasing patterns is smart.

    #7957

    RevivedMisanthropy

    Cannot agree with this more. If it feels right and fits right, buy it. If you really regret not getting something, there will be another similar one next year. If there’s not, congratulations, you have just avoided buying something that might have gone out of fashion.

    #7958

    nooeh

    I dispute this notion, because I am a happy go lucky and optimistic person who sees the best in the clothes I try on. Then as I wear them over an extended period of time I realize their shortcomings and develop low-key buyer’s remorse.

    #7959

    bfro82

    I’ve made a couple few exceptions here and there to appease a lady during some different relationships. It helped me get into a couple fits/styles I might not normally have. However, even when stepping outside my comfort zone, I was still drawn to the item in some way. If I’m not all about it as soon as I try it on, it’s not for me. And if I want to “try out” a fit or style, I’ll source a cheap/discount option, knowing that if I like it, there’s better versions available down the road.

    #7960

    Gopokes34

    Ya i’ve gotten better about it but used to if something was on sale and there was something ‘off’ about it like you described, I would convince myself it was worth it because it was so cheap. Wear it a time or two then gets pushed to the back of the closet.

    #7961

    Luph

    just bought an AllSaints leather jacket for $400. Looks good, fits good… but idk if it’s $400 good or if leather jacket is even my thing.

    probably just gonna keep it cause I don’t have the willpower to return it.

    #7962

    abstract_metal

    The only reason I’m not in your shoes is because I’m a college student with no money to spend. I mostly go for Levi’s clothes when they’re on sale and I’ve gotten plenty of complements on my button down shirts from them, maybe that’s a good place to start if you’re penny pinching.

    #7963

    Al2312

    I believe this is relatable. As someone who is research on what items i should spent my salary on, i always believe in the theory of “cost per wear”. If you buy something expensive such as a branded wallet, but use it daily for more than 3.5 years, then it should even the cost out. No point buying something that’s on sale/cheap but you dont use it or wear it after the first time (too uncomfortable, trend shifted etc)
    Just give yourself sometime to think about the item and dont make impulsive decisions.

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