Girls who maintain posh ultra feminine style, do you have tips how to not spend a fortune of time and money on it?

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  • #8342

    Nana
    Member

    Probably the closest persons I can imagine are Dita Von Tease and Lana Del Rey (1st album era). They are so perfect it hurts 😀 very feminine, very polished, I’m sure there are girls like that in real life (may be with slightly different style) and I can imagine answer “1.Be rich 2. Have a lot of free time”. But still – is it the only way? Really, how?

    #8343

    Known_Orchid

    Dita wrote a book recently that outline her beauty routines. It’s fascinating but everything sounds utterly exhausting. I think the reason she looks as good as she does is simply because it’s her job – she has loads of money to spend on her appearance and has all day to do it. I suspect the ladies who look like that in real life are in a similar situation.

    #8344

    Orchidsandtears

    Yes basically, but if you can perfect a couple high-impact details, it’ll pay off. I’d suggest developing graceful posture first, then finding your ideal proportions/silhouette, then choosing one hair or makeup trick at a time.

    Even if you’re wearing jeans and a tee, if you’re wearing it with impeccable posture and it hits in all the right places (on me it’d be a drapey non-crewneck tee with very highwaisted jeans) and you have either a stellar victory roll hairstyle or the perfect winged eyeliner and red lips, you’re most of the way there. But acquiring skills requires investment, either in paying someone, spending hours practicing, or both.

    #8345

    purpleprosenose

    I used to be really into this aesthetic, and knowing your best lines can go a long way when you’re on a budget. For me it meant anything that emphasized my waist and made it look like an hourglass. Cheap clothes can look more expensive if they fit you well, and the fabrics aren’t too busy (it can highlight poor quality imo).

    Like others are saying, it takes a lot of time and effort, but you can cheat a little. Makeup always looks more polished on a good base, so I spend the most amount of time on skincare and foundation/blush/etc. Nicely done brows, blush, mascara, and lipstick will have a greater impact when given a good canvas, whether or not you achieve that through makeup or just having great skin.

    Earrings make a big difference, I don’t know why, but they do a lot to make the overall look more polished.

    If nothing else, cute shoes, a great coat and a classic bag will go a long way.

    #8346

    idislikekittens

    I do this look like one day a week because it’s just so utterly exhausting. Some practical tips that can help:

    * Manicure. I do it myself but if you get gel it lasts longer. The second it chips, it ruins your look.

    * Brows. I do this myself as well, but if you don’t know how, a salon is a good bet.

    * Eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. I personally use an eye primer and spent a fortune on different formulae to figure out what doesn’t smudge!

    * Skincare. The hardest imo, everyone’s skin is different!

    * Exercise, sleep, a good diet, posture, braces, spending time and $$$ to find clothes in cuts and colours that make you look your best…blergh. Only worth it sometimes!

    #8347

    luxorange

    I think you basically nailed it… either spend all your time doing it yourself, or pay other people to do it for you. Sigh. The few women I’ve met/known in real life who come close to this aesthetic had both lots of time, and lots of money. Perfectly applied red lipstick can go a long way though.

    #8348

    last10push

    Well…yes, your answers are pretty much accurate. The other answer is “give up the things and activities you currently enjoy in order to have more time and money to invest in your appearance”, but that’s not a very good piece of advice. You can try to find easy ways to incorporate some elements of a polished look without having to do every single thing Dita or Lana does, because after all, it probably takes them a hell of a long time to get ready in the morning.

    #8349

    FruitBat1120

    I was very interested in this sort of aesthetic for a while, and like many have mentioned it is really quite difficult to pull off, but rather than giving you that generic answer (which you already know) I’ll give you some tips i’ve found along the way to make it *easier*, though still not necessarily easy. I know this is femalefashionadvice but I think with this style it’s as much about the overall look as it is about the clothes and shoes.

    I also think that a lot of this *feels* easy to me because I really genuinely enjoy doing it. If you’re not naturally interested and invested in these things, it will *always* seem like a chore to you. I don’t spend my downtime watching netflix, I spend it researching skin products. Shopping is a stress release for me and I spend hours researching, I measure myself before I buy and generally I buy a few sizes and then return most of it. Full disclosure I’m sure I spend *way* more money and time on myself than someone who has more commitments than I do (I have no children, no SO, and I have decent savings)

    1. Consistency- I like to think of my appearance like it’s my apartment. If i let it get too messy I will have to spend even more time to clean, rather than just picking up after myself as I go along. Sure, once in a while I have to do a deep clean, but for the most part it looks good. An easy example of this is eyebrows- pay to get them done by someone *really* good (not necessarily expensive) , and then keep up with them so you don’t have to go back for 6 months.

    a. Eat healthy 80% of the time (after all, Miss Dita is a Burlesque Star…) You can’t out-excersise your fork. A gym routine is nice, but not everyone has the time or energy, but eating healthy (though may take some will power and pre-planning) is much easier because you *have* to eat and when you do, most of the time you get to choose what. I’ve incorporated her morning smoothie into my life for breakfast and I think it’s made tremendous difference in my skin as well as my waist line.

    b. Keep your skin, nails and hair as in check as you possibly can. I understand everyone has different skin types, or issues so it’s important that you’re knowledgable about *your* skin. This may take trial and error, but I promise you there are some fantastic drugstore brands that won’t require you sacrificing much $$. r/Skincareaddiction is also great. I like to keep my routine short (well, relatively speaking for me because I love it), and I keep my appointments booked *months* in advance in my google calendar. It’s often easier for me to reschedule an appointment rather than remember to make one, and most of the time I just pick a time I tend to be free and schedule other commitments around it. My advice for hair care (and life in general) is *do your research* to the best of your ability. So many people don’t get these services done because they’re unhappy with their results, there are *SO* many resources like yelp, instagram etc etc. Again some trial and error is involved but find your people and stick to them. Another tip is to do what fits in your budget/ lifestyle- I don’t have the time, patience, or money to ever go blonde with my brunette hair. Know who you are, and what you’re willing to sacrifice for your *look*. I also can’t do vintage hair because my hair is so stick straight- I don’t fight it because I *will* destroy my hair, I just alter my look to suit what I’ve got.

    c. Wardrobe is incredibly important! Dita (I know I’m referencing her more than LDR, Im a big fan but I think my girl Lana was sort of a creation of other’s whereas Dita is her own creation, hence album one style hasn’t really continued the way I wished it would) knows her body and her style. Everything looks natural, and non-costumey on her because she is so well edited. Go through your wardrobe as often possible. Make a pile for the tailor, for the charity and for ebay/poshmark (and then actually do it HAH). You are a piece of art that deserves to be edited regularly- again this goes back to my initial point of consistency. A huge mistake I think people make is doing a big “haul” for the season, or doing a “spring clean out”. I edit *religiously*. If i put something on my body and I don’t feel good I ask myself “are you not having a good day/ does this not fit the weather” because sometimes that’s the case. If it’s not, I give the article of clothing a few more tries. If I still don’t like it I decide why (ie tailor, charity shop, poshmark) I read elsewhere you’re a bit of a tomboy so own that! Don’t buy 6 inch heels that you’ll never wear just because Dita has them, just try to find a way to translate the style you like into a more practical look because truthfully sometimes the clothes/ shoes hurt. I’ve found a few brands I feel are good quality for the price and fit me well and I generally don’t deviate. I find vintage styles (in general) to be poor quality and stupidly expensive. I’m too big for true vintage, and I really hate feeling like I’m spending a fortune for cheap material.

    d. This one’s free, I promise! Your posture can make all the difference in the world. I think its obvious when someone is truly comfortable in their body, their outfit, their style etc. And I do think its both mental and physical. All the artificial excess of clothes and makeup are nice but I think your true foundation is your mind and your body. DVT has had rude interviewers and she conducts herself with poise. The first thing I notice when I watch youtube videos of DVT or see pictures of her is the way she holds herself (ik i’m totally betraying myself as the fangirl I am) It’s not what color red lip she’s wearing, it’s her dignity. She looks like royalty, even though her job means she’s often not wearing anything other than pasties and a g-string.

    A few more tips I have are just purely products. I love a red lip, but I do not live a life where I can check it constantly, so I bought [LipInk](https://www.lipink.com/liquid-lipstick-s/49819.htm) I still have to check it after I eat, and it is a pain to put on (and you have to buy the “set”….ughhh but you really do) but it’s *easier* than red lipstick and it looks very high maintenance. I’ve been considering purchasing a relatively high-end wig so that I can style it rather than my own hair because it doesn’t hold a vintage style curl (but I digress) I think both of those women’s WOW factor comes from their hair, but personally I haven’t really figured that one out for myself. YouTube helps, I find that setting it in foam rollers the night before then brushing it out in the morning helps the curl stay but like i said I haven’t really figured this out.

    Practice makes perfect. Do your make up the same way enough times and it will look incredible. Take a friday night in to experiment, take pictures on your camera so you can see a different perspective. I find its muscle memory, the more you do it the more you get to know *your* face, *your* eye shape, *your* eye color. Ask as many questions as you can to as many people. Check on yourself through out the day to see if your foundation actually matches your neck, or if that mascara is trash and is running down your face and then *edit* fiercely. I know DVT has a book ( which I actually haven’t found terribly helpful, but it is beautiful) But also know that these women that you’ve mentioned have a *lot* of help, are renowned for this particular style, photographed often (which helps them figure out what style, pose, foundation etc suits them best) and have been doing it for their entire life.

    *** The most important Edit****
    I guess not exactly “ultra femnine” but if you read this far… WEAR SPF EVERYDAY! I don’t care who you are, how old you are, how much money you have, what ethnicity you are, what aesthetic your going for…. Ladies and Gents, please, for the love of all that is holy, wear your SPF everyday!

    #8350

    [deleted]

    You can get part of the way there. A haircut you like and can style well yourself. Learn how to apply lipstick and keep it on. Paint your nails. Posture. Make sure the clothes fit.

    A big part of this is confidence and composure though. We wanna be like those ladies because they look beautiful, but also because they own the looks.

    #8351

    kawarhi

    I try my best to be feminine and put together at least, and I’ve had a few lady friends mention that I pull it off. It’s, like, waaay important in my life to have an air of femininity. Not sure about the ultra part, or the daily maintenance, but here’s some simple stuff that I think is realistic and won’t require too much work! I’m on mobile so sorry if formatting is weird.

    1. It’s going to take a while to get your wardrobe/makeup altogether, so be patient! You can save up for a big shopping spree, but you might end up buying some stuff you’ll never wear just because sprees are fun and it looked good at the time. Take it slow, and thrift, but do it smartly. Really think about it. If you have to talk yourself into it, chances are it’s not that great of a purchase.

    2. Get a well fitting pair of dark and light wash jeans. Also, high waisted jeans are pretty fem too.

    3. Buy quality lipstick. Don’t bother with a million different shades if you’re not for sure going to wear them all.

    4. Figure out if your hair stays straight or curly when fixed. Mine can keep a soft curl for days, so I’ll just curl it heavily and let it fall over the day, then I’m just brushing it in the morning and it saves so much time. A good hair washing/brushing/product routine does wonders. Experiment!

    5. Low heeled shoes… Just because there’s less back problems and ankle pain involved. They’re just more wearable. But to each their own.

    6. You don’t have to be a different person to feminine, but I do think an air of positivity really goes a long way. Take it how you will, act what you feel positive means. (Hope that makes sense…)

    Some small stuff is to take care of your hair, keep a brush and a little mirror on hand, keep your nails painted. Another person mentioned to wear earrings, which I totally agree on. If your legs aren’t shaved and you didn’t have time, wear jeans that day. Smile a lot, be kind to people, don’t scratch your bottom in public.

    #8352

    FloreHiems

    My co worker is a performer and has mutual friends with dita and has been to her house. She has a whole closet of Louis Vuitton shoes.

    #8353

    fairybreadfiend

    It does take some time and money.

    I streamlined my life. I don’t have mismatched things that are out of place. Not even jewellery.

    It is all ready to grab and go.

    I keep to a three main colour palette and my skills in merchandising have helped.

    I have black, cream, navy blue, fuschia and grey.

    I learned how to do basic sewing on my own.

    I wear everything I own.

    My ‘outdoor’ clothes and my exercise clothes have never met.

    My heels are able to be walked in for hours. It took me years to find the right ones.

    Know your measurements and your style. This is huge. Take a tape measure with you when you go shopping always. Even the basic tank top. Do not feel stupid measuring it in the store. Do not convince yourself that you ‘love’ something. There will be another one. A better one.

    If you see a baby doll dress and you don’t like the style but it is a cute print, dont try and convince yourself to buy it by saying ‘if I put a belt with it…..’ This garment is already too much trouble. Same with shoes. Pumps slip off my feet. So I get the style with a strap.

    It takes YEARS to find out what works for you. Ay 36 I still wear clothes I have had at 16 that I got from a chain store.

    My style involves gloves, scarves and parasol. My colour palette extends to this. Excepting an adventure time umbrella I adore purely for kicks.

    Stockings, etc I get from ebay etc. Ask the seller for proper measurements. I buy dresses that women have worn once to an event and do not wear in their normal style. I keep a look out for the same companies and the same styles.

    Learn how to do your own nails. I have only ever used one shade (essie which is a topcoat). Cheap scrub for feet and body: coffee grinds (or raw sugar) and oil.

    My hair is as natural as possible. I am not going to spend the time or expense maintaining a curly blonde do when I am a brunette straight haired. Took me a long time to learn to love what I have.

    I go to my eyebrows lady but I have a scar across one of them and need help growing.

    For me, it is all about health. I prioritise sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
    Good healthy food, exercise, no tanning.

    I dont use expensive products but I do go to my beauticians about once a month for micros (I buy them during the half price sales and ask for them as gifts).

    My makeup:

    Pressed powder (bys)
    Blush (bys)
    Eyeshadow and brows (most work on me)
    Mascara (maybelline volum express)
    Lipstick (maybelline 24hr and baby lips with spf)
    Foundation (revlon colourstay but I dont use it mostly)
    Eyeliner (almay)

    Skin:
    Cleanser (cetaphil)
    Sunscreen (natio)
    Night cream (skinceuticals retinol)
    Hair removal (razor or laser when they have serious clearances on).

    I get stopped in the street about my style, complimented on a great deal.

    I dont wear highlighter primer and whatever else there is. I don’t own it.

    I went to a physical therapist to help with my posture and watched a lot of etiquette videos to find out how to eat properly and get out of a car without falling out.

    I don’t agree with much of the tips ‘getting a man’ but I took the wheat from the chaff.

    I do not drink and have never smoked or done drugs.

    Accept you will get blemishes and have bad days

    That you are lovely as you are.

    99% of it is confidence. Trust me on this one.

    #8354

    crazyrepasian

    I’m a cheap person for whom it’s a game to look expensive for as cheap as possible (sometimes not thaaat possible, maybe one piece has to be expensive to make everything else look just as expensive).

    So I do believe that you can do great, polished-looking makeup with the right drugstore products and technique, do overnight curls by sleeping in them or an updo, and just start building one great outfit that looks good on you. Or practice one hairstyle and one makeup look. You don’t have to start with a full wardrobe, that’s too big a goal if you’re on a budget, just collect pieces slowly. I also try to keep it curated and repeat pieces/outfits/accessories a ton because that saves money.

    Just start with a base outfit like a great dress that flatters you, or black pants with ankle boots (I prefer black) with which you can wear flirty tops (that’s….. at least 10 outfits if you’re boring like me and only change the top and accessories).

    #8355

    merrideathgrey

    You can reduce spending either time or money on it. Not both. You can substitute one for the other to a certain extent.

    Honestly though, I used to pride myself as being one of those, used to wake up at 4 in the morning to get ready for the day, and go to bed early. Kinda grew out of it after doing it for like over a decade. I modeled for a bit. I was extremely unsure of my looks, like super insecure about my looks. Used to feel super shy. Now I go outside with hairy legs in short shorts just to test the waters (rarely but I do it sometimes). I haven’t really been treated that differently.

    #8356

    aph90210

    I want to say that this is basically my style, though I lean more towards Lana and her 60s aesthetic than Dita’s pin-up look. And though my style has evolved here and there over the years, I think it’s always been feminine and more careful than carefree. The #1 thing is practice. The nice thing about the look you’re describing is, it’s actually quite simple. Really all it is, is: even complexion, winged eyeliner, lots of mascara, and red lips. (This is in comparison to an Instaglam aesthetic, for example, contour, complicated eyeshadow blending, precision brows, falsies, highlight.) I carry my red lipstick with me for touch-ups, but everything else lasts throughout the day.

    I also have a very self-assured sense of style, I guess you could say. I can readily admire more masculine or edgy looks but I don’t naturally gravitate towards them. So when I’m shopping, it’s very easy for me to say “that’s so me,” and therefore have a wardrobe of pretty cohesive pieces. The downside is, maybe I’m not the most experimental dresser. I bought my first pair of ankle booties like, a month ago. But I think consistency is part of giving off Dita/Lana vibes. It might feel weird at first but with time, it just becomes who you are. Like for me, I’ve gotten very used to how I look in red lipstick. People will point out, “You’re wearing jeans!” And a big upside is that I’m more willing to forgo trends that I know won’t flatter me.

    So I disagree with people who think this look is only attainable for celebrities with time and money. I’m not rich (I actually don’t get facials or manicures and I only get haircuts twice a year), and I don’t have excessive amounts of time (I can do my hair and makeup in about 30 minutes). It takes practice and a certain amount of persistence. And, of course, a genuine sense of happiness in coming across this way.

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