This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by MFA_Nay 1 week, 5 days ago.
December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29231
I want to hear from the guys who their mom’s always picked out their clothes, they wore the same t shirt for years until it fell apart, and those who did not like shopping for clothes at all.
When it comes to fashion – I have to FORCE myself to buy something. The only reason why I buy new clothes is when a job requires me to, or I feel that I MUST buy clothes to fit in with everyone else. I’m at this point where I do have more money and the people at my work do dress well. Business casual well. Me? I come in wearing the same things every week – sweater, jeans, t-shirt, the same day-in, and day-out.
It’s hard for me to understand why I should pay $100 for shoes when I can spend $100 in credit card bills. The way I see it, fashion is a want, not a need. and because I live by this “buy needs, not wants”, I have this pessimistic view towards fashion. So I would like to hear from those who were in my position and their experiences with changing fashion into a priority.
​December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29232
> I want to hear from the guys who their mom’s always picked out their clothes,
*Why, hello there…*
If you’re a lowkey narcissist it’s 100% worth it.
Real talk though for many people fashion is a means to an end. Sometimes it’s social signaling in a job, party, dating, etc. Sometimes people just like dressing up all dandy as an emotional thing.
I mean ‘worth’ is subjective so eh.
I mean you can get into ‘fashion’ by doing a small versatile wardrobe like a French wardrobe or a related ‘minimalist’ wardrobe. With minimalist varying by ‘paired back aesthetic style, small number of garments, or both combined. That way you don’t have to think too hard on it all. It’s especially nice for people starting off.
Eventually you just get a good wardrobe you personally like which is seen vaguely as ‘fashionable’ so picking out clothes is easy. If anything you just cycle through the same outfits again and again. ‘Dressing consistently well’ becomes a habit, and the things about habits is that they don’t take much direct mental effort. You just do the same things… cause it’s a habit.
Plus if you lack the will or effort to actually choose stuff we have ‘Buying Guides’ on this subreddit under the Guide section in the Wiki. I mean I’m a ‘teach a man to fish’ type guy, but I’m also aware I’m a fashun nerd and people can skew on the lazy side.
Answering more specific Qs:
> I come in wearing the same things every week – sweater, jeans, t-shirt, the same day-in, and day-out.
I mean it’s your choice if you want to stay with that or not. I’ve worked with amazingly talented people who wear suits and sandals. Yeah sandals. I’ve also worked with someone who’s an IG-copy-cat too-tight-shirt-stuck-in-2012 before and he was a right giant knob. Clothes can help but they’re not *you*. They’re just the icing on the cake.
> It’s hard for me to understand why I should pay $100 for shoes when I can spend $100 in credit card bills.
General rationale is that fast fashion is crap but the mid-priced shoes are better. Better material + construction = last longer on average and the leather ages better. The scale between price and quality isn’t always a strong correlations, hence asking communities like this or other helps in giving recommendations.
> The way I see it, fashion is a want, not a need. and because I live by this “buy needs, not wants”
Also generally I’d say clothing and ‘fashion’ is now more of a ‘want’ than a ‘need’ unless you’re in some third world country. Like yeah, you have to wear certain formalities in occasions like weddings, parties, or funerals but you’ve got *options*.
> I have this pessimistic view towards fashion.
Well unless you live in a nudist colony you can’t really run away. I mean the semantic difference between ‘fashion’ and ‘clothing’ is a funny one. ‘Fashion’ is just whatever clothing is currently seen on trend based on society, culture and implicitly historical space. Anyway, a healthy small dose of pessimism or cynicism isn’t bad.
> So I would like to hear from those who were in my position and their experiences with changing fashion into a priority.
I don’t know about other people here, but I don’t consider it a ‘priority’ at all, and I’m even a mod here! I just have a simple wardrobe, decide on outerwear if it’s cold or raining, and mostly leave it at that. Apart from that I pretty much wear the same thing every day when going out.
Plus I stick around cause I find it fun giving advice and talking with similar fashun nerds. But for many people they just learn what they can, and then just stop posting or asking questions once they’re happy with themselves. And that’s a totally fine thing too. For 99% it’s a means to an ends, and once they’ve got it… well, they’ve got it.
But to end my ramble… just seems like a mental snag on your part. Either get over it and go for some self improvement or don’t. It’s no biggie really.
TL:DR: Consistently being fashionable becomes a ‘habit’. Through it becoming a ‘habit’ you don’t spend much effort on it.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29233
Yea, it’s worth it. Girls dig itDecember 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29234
If you a credit card company money I’d only buy needs until no interest is adding up, but otherwise I think it’s completely worth it. It makes me feel much more confident to go out looking good and you almost can’t put a price on that. I say almost because I’m not at the point where I can buy a fully bespoke wardrobe, but would pay significantly more for a better fit or quality.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29235
Ok first of all, style is a lower priority than getting out of debt. For now, focus on keeping your lifestyle cheap so you can pay off those credit cards fast and avoid getting buried under interest.
Meanwhile, what you can do now for your style is to start training your eye by looking at what other people are wearing. Notice what items fit well, what’s too tight or too loose. Look at what items go well together, and what items clash in color, formality, style, etc. Consider what you like and dislike about outfits you see, and whether they are styles that you are personally drawn to. You can practice this with people you see on the street, celebrities, or online photos. (But also consider whether an outfit makes sense for a context. Don’t aspire to dress like a 30s mafia boss in school. )
At some point, you’ll be financially sturdy enough to elect for some clothing purchases. The more you’ve trained your eye, the more you’ll benefit from being picky and recognizing things that are really very flattering on you and suit your tastes. MFA guides can point you toward some versatile items to consider. Once you’ve stocked your closet with some stuff that suits you well, it’s quite easy to dress well each day.
YES, that upfront effort is worthwhile, because it makes you seem more attractive, more professional, more composed, more self-aware. It may make you feel more confident too.
For some people, style becomes a full hobby. That’s fine. It’s also fine if you don’t care that much, and just want to put in some up-front effort so that you’ll look better each day.
But handle that debt first!December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29236
Is learning an instrument worth it?
Is picking up gardening worth it?
Is reading worth it?
Is cooking worth it?
Is skiing/snowboarding/skating worth it?
Is playing a sport worth it? Is *watching* a sport worth it?
Are video games worth it?
Is photography worth it?
Is going camping / hiking / backpacking / cycling worth it?
I may have went overboard, but I think you can see what I’m getting at. All the above things are hobbies. These are things we fill our spare time with. Pretty much all these things can be done either cheaply or expensively. You can go hike right now for free. If you’re so inclined, you can also spend hundreds/thousands on different levels of gear. This isn’t money wasted, this is money spent on one of your hobbies. This is the whole reason you collect money, to spend it on things you enjoy.
All of these things are “wants”. Life is made up almost entirely of wants. What are your needs? Shelter and food. If you do anything besides eat and stay out of the elements, you’re spending money for something that is a “want”.
I didn’t play guitar when I was 14. I wasn’t into the hobby. This is just like not being into fashion. I picked up guitar as a hobby some time in high school and got my first cheapo guitar. A few years later I upgraded and got a new guitar + amp for around $800. Then I got an acoustic a little later. Just this year I bought a $1600 guitar, and I plan to buy a new amp soon. Did I need any of this stuff? I won’t die if I don’t play guitar. I also won’t die if I just stuck with my old crappy $120 guitar+amp combo, they still worked. Playing guitar is a hobby, one that I enjoy putting money into.
In high school I wasn’t into fashion. I wore band shirts and jeans every day. Same for a big part of college. Fashion just wasn’t a hobby I was into. Then Junior year in college, I picked up fashion as a hobby and started filling my wardrobe with a few key items I liked, and started dressing “better”. A few years later all my band shirts are gone, and I’m discovering my own personal style and experimenting with fashion. A few years after that and I now know my personal style extremely well, I know what I like to wear, and I continue to experiment to push the boundary of my own personal style.
Some people pick up guitar at a young age, some people pick it up at an old age, some people never pick it up.
Some people pick up fashion at a young age, some people pick it up at an old age, some people never pick it up.
Different strokes for different folks, do what you enjoy. I don’t have a pessimistic view towards musicians, or artists, or athletes, or chess players, or any of the things I choose not to do…
So, to me, it worth it, because it is just one of my hobbies I like to spend time and money on. If I wasn’t into fashion, I would need to fill that void with something else anyways.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29237
People treat you better when you look better. I lost a fuckton of weight and started wearing fitted clothing. That’s about 90% of looking good. As long as you don’t clash colors or dress like you just stepped out of a time machine you’re probably fine.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29238
I like it. It’s fun to plan outfits and pair up different clothes, and looking in the mirror and being like “yeah that well dressed dude is me” is a neat feeling.
I think it’s kinda the same thing as women who say that they don’t wear makeup to get dudes, they just like looking nice. It’s the same for me, I just get a kick out of looking nice even if I’m not trying to meet anyone or planning on chatting someone up.
If you have other more important bills then it totally makes sense to pay those off instead of picking up new clothes, but it wouldn’t hurt to get into the habit of like “once a month I’ll spend $50 on clothes” or “I’ll buy one new shirt every month”. Even if it’s not something you really care about or put a lot of time or thought into, you’ll still be expanding your wardrobe and dressing nicer.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29239
I got into fashion as “buying approval”. I was always overweight and wore t shirts and cargo shorts and was always a hater on people who were in better shape than me and dressed better. I lost a lot of weight then went for the next step i guess. So what if its pathetic? So what if its vain/shallow? Or you percieve it to be that, you do things all the time in your normal life because they’re what’s expected of you, that’s just how things work man. It kind of springboarded from that though and it really built up my self esteem, I like looking good and like finding things I think I look good in and that just cycles back on itslef. In the end its just clothes though man. Some people like to spend money on video games, or their cars, or cameras. (I Unfortunately like to spend money on all of these things lol.) But the first priority being sorting your financial situation, and after that if you don’t want to you can’t force yourself to like this hobby imho – just like you can’t force yourself to like anything else. Oh, the positive attention I get from other people on the way I dress has also been pleasant as well.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29240
My motto: look good, feel goodDecember 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29241
I got into fashion when I wad sort of at a low point personally and I use it to express myself and for self confidence related purposes. Sort of depends on where you are coming from ad to why you would get into it, but if it doesnt interest you dont feel pressured to get into it only because girls like it or some other motive. 🙂December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29242
You should yourself this question: What does fashion mean to you?
Are you trying to dress better because you want to improve your self-image/confidence/mental health, attract a mate? Or do you want to dress better to fit in since everyone at your work dress well? Is it a vehicle for your self-expression? Or is it totally utilitarian and functional, where clothes are just necessary to protect your body from the weather?
Your initial question pertains to practically everyone here. Most people did not care for fashion and can say they dressed like shit when they first started out (baggy tees and basketball shorts). Until they (most likely) had a trigger moment that made them care more about fashion. How much someone cares for fashion will depend on the person. It’s worth the time and effort as much as you want it to.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29243
Please pay down your credit card bills before buying new shoes. Don’t feel bad for doing that.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29244
It plateaus after a certain point. You start out a lot the bottom and as you slowly build up your wardrobe people start to notice so you keep on buying clothes. Maybe you start getting into higher end pieces. After a while though people just expect you to dress nice though.
At this point I dress for my own same though. Especially during the cooler seasons.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29245
I used to be super clueless about “fashion”. I mean, I always cared about how I dressed to a certain extent, but it wasn’t until I actually spent time researching that I was able to feel satisfied with how I dressed.
Also, for me “fashion” just means “looking nice”. Looking back, I had no idea what proper fitting clothes was lol. I still wear the basics that I used to back in the day (jeans, t shirts and shirts, mostly “sneakers”), but now I dress like 10x better because I understand what proper fitting clothes are.
I’ve never spent $100 on shoes (yet anyways lol). My advice is to choose 1 or 2 items that you regularly like to wear (for example, jeans and t shirts for me), and then just Google “men blue jeans shirt outfits”) and just scroll through the images. Pay attention to the outfits that look good to you, and try to notice if there’s a similar pattern going on. You can try to just mimic that, and little by little you will develop your own “fashion” sense.
And over time you will also see what is internet bunk (IMO), and what works for you. For example, I bought into the whole OCBD shirt, Uniqlo, and “no logo T Shirt” trend that everyone seems to be spouting online, only to realize that I don’t give a damn about OCBD and Uniqlo, and I love me some good logo shirts!
Just realized I wrote a lot LOL – In conclusion, fit trumps buying overly “fashion forward” junk any day of the week IMO. If you wear proper fitting clothing and have good hygiene, you are doing great.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29246
You can get nice stuff for pretty cheap, just be cognizant, I’m very lucky and had a timberland surplus store in my old town (recently closed). But the basics of looking nice really just come down to color matching and rolling basic bastard for a bit till you figure it out. This sub really helped me out.
Im coming out of 4 years of military school (never had to buy clothes, wore uniforms all the time).December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29247
If you ask me, yes, because I feel more confident when I wear an outfit I really like.
But it’s a trade off because now I feel way less confident in a mediocre outfit than I used to…December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29248
First of all – bills > fashion 100% of the time. Don’t even consider prioritizing buying clothes for their quality or looks until that’s covered. That said, I used to think the same way. This is my first post but I feel pretty strongly about this topic so this will be *long*, but I’ll try to make each point count and to help you see all the primary reasons why people care about nice clothing (and it’s not just simply about looking nice). That said, you can look good wearing the kinds of clothes you currently like to wear without going over the top. Sweater, jeans, and a t-shirt works well even at a “fashionable” level, but it generally works better with high quality and well-fitting versions of those things, and spiced up a bit with a complimentary coat or better shoes/boots than you’d probably be used to buying. Before I begin, I also want to say that there are different “registers” of clothing. Super casual, casual, business casual, etc. Nothing’s particularly wrong with any of them, but they’re suited for a time and a place – it’s not like you’d be dressing up in a suit and tie to walk out to the local movie theater with your friends. That said, here we go:
To begin, I’ll be honest, whether we want to admit it or not, we have a lot of inherent biases in our heads about others based on the way they look. For example, if I see someone wearing jeans that are 2 sizes too big, with holes and rips across the knees, and wearing a ratty old band t-shirt from the 90s that looks like it’s falling apart, I’m going to assume A LOT about that person right off the bat. *None of it may be true*, but there’s no denying that what you wear and the way you carry yourself says a lot about your personality. That look says simply “I don’t give a fuck.” To me, and probably to others as well, that “I don’t give a fuck about the way I look” attitude bleeds into me thinking that’s how you view the rest of life in general.
It makes me think you’re lazy. Maybe you smoke weed and drink all day. Maybe you’re *literally* a small-time criminal or a drug addict – like I said, you may not be, but *that’s the image you’re showing to the world*. That brings me to a point about character design (an industry that I’m more or less in now) – I think it’s fun to kind of create the look that *you* want to have. Be your *own* character! Think about characters in books, movies, or shows for example – they’re each designed with a specific look in mind – the erratic genius type in a crime series? He might be wearing really dorky looking glasses, oversized button-up shirts with pens in the pocket, etc ([https://bandbent.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/lewis.jpg](https://bandbent.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/lewis.jpg)). The classy, cool lead character will look like Spike from Cowboy Bebop – just kind of a fashionable dude but a bit more relaxed ([http://img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire4/00bb5774fe5bf9d2eae1798d45ae7c6c1511981415_full.jpg](http://img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire4/00bb5774fe5bf9d2eae1798d45ae7c6c1511981415_full.jpg)).
Here’s another important point for me personally – I don’t want to buy clothes that were made by someone living in squalor and horrible working conditions to get me a $20 shirt made out of the cheapest throw-away cotton available, after they’ve worked 13-14 hour days in an unsafe factory for $1.50 per day. It’s just an economic model I don’t want to support. I think people’s time, health, and energy is worth more than that and I don’t want to support a “fast-fashion” model of clothes making. I want someone who cared about the art of designing the clothes in the first place and someone who put their heart into making it. One last point here on quality before I move onto the last points – if you’re in any kind of physical shape at all, nice clothes literally fit your body better – they feel loose in the areas that need to feel loose, but more form-fitting in areas that can be tighter against your body and look good that way. Nice fabric and nice cuts feel better, bottom line.
Onto an interesting and unexpected point that I had no idea about before getting into clothes – there’s a kind of indescribable aura that you feel when you know you look really sharp, and a vibe you get from other people as well. People you interact with daily will *literally* treat you differently, mostly for the better, and it’s tangible. When you look good, you feel good and I think that kind of shows to the people you interact with as well. It’s pure confidence in yourself and the way you look; and remember, there’s a distinction between confidence and arrogance – arrogance is when you get into the dark side of fashion that you described in your post. I wouldn’t think of it as an “everyone who’s into fashion is narcissistic and wasting money on useless things,” but rather people who care a lot about quality of materials and the artistic / design side of it in general.
That’s just like saying a tradesman who wants to buy ultra high-quality tools so that he can more comfortably and effectively do his work is some kind of idiot or sellout to the “high-end tool companies.” Doesn’t that sentence just sound ridiculous to you? Clothing and your appearance can be thought of as a kind of social version of “work.” I’d rather not think of it as a “manipulation” of the way people perceive you but instead a way to project the real “you” to the world. If your view of clothing is as shallow as “I want to look nice so that chicks want to bang me,” you’re probably just an asshole. Personally I couldn’t care less about that aspect of it – I wear nice clothes that I selectively searched for and after lots of research found just the right stuff for me, and that makes me feel good emotionally and physically. It’s just another way to take care or yourself at the end of the day.
Fewer, higher quality things is faaar more important to me than having a closet full of stuff I might only want to wear once or twice; it also makes things feel less cluttered and depressing when you’ve got a closet that only has 30 nice things in it, including shoes and coats, but to actually really love everything in there. I donate all my old clothes to charities or sell them if they have any resale value at all, but for the most part, I like minimalist fashion, and I think that’s probably what would work best for you too. I once read some advice that buying a piece of clothing should “sting” a little bit, money-wise. It forces you to not only do more research before you jump in and buy something, but to also make sure it’s something you’d wear frequently throughout the year and that fits you well. There’s a kind of cut-off point at which price doesn’t offer any realistic increases in quality, but you should try to hit that point with the main parts of any outfit, which to me are the shirts, pants, coats, and shoes.
Lastly, if your view on clothes is that they’re purely for utility and nothing else, then fashion will likely never interest you in any kind of meaningful way. If you want to explore the idea that maybe clothes can be a unique way of expressing how you feel about yourself and how you want to be viewed by the world, then you’re on a path to enjoying fashion. Trust me, your confidence skyrockets the first time someone actually gives you a compliment on the way you look or is interested in where you got a certain thing you’re wearing. It just opens more doors for interacting with people in a positive way.
Whether you choose to view that as narcissistic is up to you, but I think caring about fashion is more like the difference between confidence and cockiness, the light and dark sides. Cockiness in fashion is “I’m going to buy this $2500 outfit because I want to flaunt my wealth to everyone around me and let them know that they’re beneath me.” Confidence is knowing who you are and showing to the world that you care about yourself by wearing thoughtful outfits that fit your personality.
TL:DR fashion at the end of the day *is* a want and not a need. It’s not like food or water, or a place to live, or paying off your debts. But, even if after all those things are taken care of, you view clothing as purely utilitarian and just something you “have to do,” then yea. Not worth it. If you actually care about the artistry behind good design, durability of materials, nice and comfortable fits, and the strong possibility that people you interact with will literally treat you better, then you’ll probably get interested in fashion.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29249
It depends on the person really. I dressed like crap up until about my sophomore year of college. I would wear random Nike T-shirt’s that were way too big, jeans that were not slim or form fitting by any means and I’d wear basketball shoes literally everywhere I went. In all honesty, my discovery of r/MaleFashionAdvice is what spurred me to start dressing nicer and I never looked back.
As far as effort it concerned, you really don’t need to put that much in all in one go. A new wardrobe should be built over time, especially if you are just getting into fashion because you likely wont know which style suits you. While it’s a meme around here, the MFA uniform of a white/light blue OCBD, dark wash slim fit jeans and white sneakers or brown boots is a very good place to start. It’s a clean, versatile look that is already better than 90% of dudes out there are wearing.
And if it’s something you just don’t want to get into then there’s no need to force it. It really is a hobby just like anything else. I have a friend who is an audiophile and spends a ton of money on high quality headphones, amps and other audio gear. Sure, his expensive headphones sound great but I could never see myself spending that much money on something like that when my cheap earbuds are good enough for me. Likewise, he doesn’t get why I’d spend nearly $200 on a wool car coat from Banana Republic when his cheap jacket from JCPenny keeps him warm enough. Neither of us is wrong, it’s just that we have different interests and priorities. So, if you dip your toes into men’s fashion and find out it’s not for you then I wouldn’t sink any more money into it.
Overall I would never go back to dressing like I used to. It really is pretty easy to put in a minimal amount of effort and end up dressing better than most guys out there. Hell, most days I pretty much stick to the MFA uniform and I’m known around work as one of the guys who dresses really well. Just understand that dressing better doesn’t mean all the ladies are suddenly going to be after you or that people will be mistaking you for a movie star when you’re out on the town. It really should be something you do for yourself as opposed to something you do solely to impress those around you.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29250
you can get nice looking shoes for around 30 at the mall or online. I have a brown shoe i got for 30 at a shoe store in the mall, they are made cheap but look good and i get complements all thr time. they are steve maddens i beleiveDecember 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29251
I used to be a t-shirt, hoodie, and sweatpants kid back in high school. Sometime during my senior year, I found MFA and I thought “what if I actually tried to look half decent?”. I popped open several guides on various things and went out to buy a lot of things I should’ve thought more about as they’re not used anymore. I kind of looked goofy during the first few months, but after a while I felt like “hey, dressing like I’m a decent person feels good!”. Now I’m just into buying clothing and what not because I enjoy looking nice. It gives me a good feel. I’ve become more confident in myself, less self-conscious, I’m more outgoing (kind of), and I just feel generally happier. Of course I only spend disposable income on clothing since credit card bills do come first after all.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29252
My ego says ‘yes’.
My wallet says ‘no’.
Pick your poison.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29253
I’m just glad I don’t look like a complete toolDecember 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29254
Dress good, look good, feel good
For most of my life I have been a shorts, t-shirt, and sandals kinda guy. I recently got into dressing nicer and I just like wearing nice things. When I dress good and look good I feel good.
You can also dress well w/o spending $100 on shoes or whatever. If you know how and when to shop you can often get things for way less than retail, only downside is it might be from season or whatever. Personally I don’t care as if it looks good and is well made I don’t care when it was released.
I also see that some people do well thrifting things.December 3, 2018 at 2:36 am #29255
I think it’s worth disassociating fashion and price a little bit. In terms of time and effort I tend to get better initial reactions from people, actually using that advantage isn’t something I’m great at. I guess I would say people cool off over time rather than warming up. Mileage is likely to vary.
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